British Columbia Family Law Blog

Telephone calls, e-mails and other forms of correspondence may be good ways for parents to keep in touch with older children in times between access visits, but these forms of access can be challenging where younger children are involved.

Anyone who has been on the phone with a 3 or 4 year old child knows that the conversation may be a very one-sided question and answer session. For example, “Did you have fun at daycare today?” might be answered with a simple “Yes” or “No”, and a follow-up question like “What did you do?” could lead to either a list of activities or a simple “I don’t know.”

This can make exercising telephone access to young children a difficult and, at times, frustrating experience for both parents and children. Young children seldom seem to be interested in talking on the telephone for long, and the conversations they do carry on are likely limited in content.

While some parents may be satisfied with a brief phone chat, other parents are less content and some may be left feeling frustrated or even angry with the custodial parent for not encouraging the child to talk more. This situation has the potential of increasing or creating tension or even animosity in the parents’ relationship, which could then lead to access problems. In some cases, it may even lead to accusations of parental alienation by the parent who is attempting to exercise telephone access.

One possible solution to overcoming the challenge of telephone access for young children could be to set up a webcam. This technology would permit the parent and child to “see” each other on the computer screen and talk directly through the computer’s built-in microphone.

By using the webcam, the child would be able to “show” mommy or daddy a picture drawn at school, a favourite toy, sing a song or any number of other things all the while seeing and hearing the parent’s response. If a young child is reluctant to talk on the telephone with a parent, this technology may encourage the child to be more open communication since there is a two-way interaction with the parent.

A webcam also allows the parent to see the physical and emotional responses of the child, which may be more reassuring than a brief telephone conversation. For example, instead of being told on the phone that a child is too tired to talk, the parent would have the opportunity to see firsthand via the webcam that the child really is tired and ready for bed. This also has the potential of reducing or alleviating any sense of mistrust or concerns about alienation that may exist in the parents’ relationship, which would ultimately benefit the child.

There is an expense involved in this form of access, particularly if both parents do not already have computers or access to a computer with a webcam, although the price of webcams has come down significantly since the technology first came out on the market. A recent check of several retailers in Canada showed a price range starting at approximately $70 for a basic model, with digital webcams ranging over $200.

In addition to a computer and a stable internet connection, users will need to purchase the webcam hardware and the installation software. Directions and information about setting up and using webcams can be obtained from retailers or by checking different online websites. There may ultimately be some savings from using a webcam for parents who would normally telephone long distance, since long distance charges do not apply.

A webcam is not like watching a video or television. The images are usually updated every 30 seconds which can make viewing seem a little uneven, and the quality of the camera will determine whether the images are in color or in black and white.

Ultimately, parents must determine what forms of communication will work best for their children and for themselves. This technology is a promising option to other traditional forms of communication, such as the telephone, and has the potential of making access with young children in particular more open and enjoyable for the non-access parent.